Happy Good Friday! It’s a holiday for India but it’s a regular work day for US in my company. What this means for me is that I had my Thursday night off, and I have a very easy Friday (no emails from the India team). What a joy! The second half of this week has been light since I didn’t join any conference calls on Wednesday night.
One of my meetings from Tuesday was rescheduled to Wednesday night, and I was out with the boyfriend on Wednesday night as previously arranged. I didn’t want to join the call, but as the call time approaches, I was anxious and tormented with guilt. My senior team members were all on this call, even one of the engineers in the us. I was full of guilt because I felt (probably not how they feel) I was abandoning them and I am no longer willing to be a team player.
In the end, the boyfriend convinced me not to join and told me it’s ok to say no. It’s not my fault that they rescheduled the call. For the duration of the call, I was miserable even though I was not on the call. Boyfriend’s point is that I don’t need to be on every call, if the project can still move along without me until the next call. And he is right. I am not as important to the project as I thought, since I don’t actually build the product. Why did I feel so bad? Regardless on the call or not, I felt so much happier when the call ended.
Last night I could truly enjoy my night off because I knew no one was working and sending me emails. I felt so free. I spent my night watching movies and playing with the boyfriend’s dog. The dog loves me. Usually I don’t sleep well during weekdays and have occasional insomnia. Last night I slept like a baby and had my full eight hours of sleep.
I long for the day when I am financially independent and have all my week nights off. It would be perfect, just the three of us. I dare to dream the dream.